Go Soft and Come Home

This is a little love letter to those of us who are fighting with our very souls not to be hardened and jaded by the times we are living in. A wee reminder to those of us who know our best selves live in the softness of things.

I know this well. I've been struggling to show up as my full, soft self because the hard things are harding and the numbing things are calling. They are very appealing right now. The funny thing is that I know that staying with our softness is the bravest thing we can do.

It's easier to harden up. It's easier to turn our backs. It's easier to rant and rave (and don't get me wrong, time and place and all that). It's easier to abandon ourselves. It's easier to get caught up in the fire and heat and doom spirals. Boy...is it easier to let ourselves be whipped round the outside of the wheel of life.

The strength it takes to give ourselves the time and space to get quiet and be soft is wild. It's often the first thing that gets put on the back burner for me. Why is that? I'm really tired of abandoning myself in this way. I know that so many of my paths home to myself are paved with softness. I've experienced that over and over. When I embrace that needed part of myself I am guided so beautifully.

I wanted to share a little of my recent journaling.

'I find it interesting that I can connect to the beautiful messages and knowings about what I need and where my path lies but I feel very disconnected to the embodiment and 'doing' part. I really shy away from the changing things because they feel hard. I think that is because there is already enough hard. It feels counter intuitive to create my own hard. Even if the hard thing is good for me. Even if the easy option isn't. Even if the easy option is actually the hard thing in the long run and the changing thing is only hard for a little while until it becomes and leads to more ease. I find it really challenging to connect to that distant easeful part. I'm so impacted by the hardness of the change needed now. It's the same with adding something new when so much feels unknown. It's hard to know that while I'm very much supported and resourced, it's really down to me to do the things and make the changes and stick with them. It's my responsibility. Ugh. And not claiming that responsibility is breaking my own heart. My inner critique and naysayer is breaking my own heart (hello 3 of Swords). My needed things are actually really beautiful and soft. My naysayer is yelling that they aren't enough; that softness never wins. The lure of the numbing and consuming and 'easy' things are so strong.'

Oft, right? I've been taking on a practice that Liz Gilbert does about communing with Love. So I asked what Love would say to this and do you know what came out (that I don't really remember writing)?

'Oh Gosh, you beautiful, introspective trier. You keep coming back. Can you see how special that is? Can you see how rare? You are such a beautiful soul, baby girl. A beautiful soul in a really complex, noisy world. The worries are loud and you are sensitive to the loud things but your power is in the soft. The soft and the quiet and the gentle. That's where the healing paths are. Keep giving yourself time and space with the softness.'

I wondered if you maybe needed to hear these words too soft one.

Lots of Love,

Jenny